Lately, I’ve been thinking about what it means to be mature. I’ve been noticing the behavior of individuals over 30 and wondering if some of the things that these people are doing aren’t a bit juvenile, you know, immature. I began to wonder, “When do we grow up?” The more I thought about it the more I realize that is not about maturity, but about choices. It is about learning from mistakes (not necessarily ours) and making a decision to make better choices in the future. It’s also about forgiveness and grace. In other words forgiving (giving grace) those who let us down in some way and then not allowing their mistake (immaturity) to infect our behavior.
Plainly put, if we blame someone for WHAT THEY DID TO US then that behavior becomes a part of the way we live our lives. What’s my logic? Question, “Have you ever seen someone commit the same wrong to someone else that was done to them?” The behavior has become a part of their lives so much that they can’t recognize that it is influencing them. So my conclusion is that we are a lot of little boys and girls residing in adult men’s and women’s bodies—getting someone back for what they did. Only we’re not “getting” the person who did the wrong, we’re getting someone else for it. The culprit may not even know that they did anything wrong, because many times we don’t (sometimes can’t) tell them–we just blame them and make someone else pay.
Now, I know there are some things that are unforgivable (it seems). But I wonder if holding on to unforgiveness worth what it’s costing us. Yes, this post was supposed to be about maturity, and it is. We can’t grow up because we won’t forgive; and forgiveness is a choice. If we find a way to forgive, we just might find that we will begin making more mature decisions. Hmmm, this may not be about maturity; this just may be about personal growth, which–like maturity–may come at any age. Word.