What is How to Love?
"HELLO EVERYONE, Love is to radically accept others just as they are"
To love is to radically accept others just as they are
using care, consideration, and compassion. With this kind of positive regard, the intention is to make the necessary sacrifice to maintain the connection–the relationship.
To love effectively is to regard your relationship as more important than any form of division. Divisions are real but can be better managed if we can see clearly that they are ego-propelled illusions.
To love is to radically accept others just as they are
SistuhTalk
Many of us have often stated, “People are doing the best they can”. I say this all the time, in my attempt to be gracious about things we (and I mean we) do that are hurtful, harmful, self-destructive, self-pitying– you know, all the things that we’d like to change about ourselves. Just today, it occurred to me that people are not doing the best they can; they are doing the best they think they can, which is quite different. It’s our mindset, outlook, or perspective that determines our actions. How many times have you proven to yourself that you can or cannot do something? We can keep being gracious and allowing ourselves to “slide” or we can challenge our thinking and encourage ourselves not to mindlessly do the “best” we can but to consider that it’s our thinking that keeps us from actually doing better than we do. Just my thoughts. What say you? P.S. Ain’t nothing wrong with giving grace; but, I wonder if you knew you were holding yourself back if you would be so quick to say “I’m doing the best I can”.
The only one that can change you is you–it begins with self-reflection and ends with intentional action.
God won’t make you do anything–it’s called free-will.
Dr. Deb
How-ya Lovin’?
If you really want to know the answer to this question then do this: Test yourself for one week by paying attention to how you respond to people or ideas of which you disapprove. Pay attention to what you think, say, feel, and/or do. However you respond or react (even in the simplest of situations) is your answer, your response is how you love. Now self-reflect (in the moment) by asking yourself these questions: “What is going on with me that I respond this way?” Or, “Are my thoughts, words, or deeds loving?” Respond here and let us know what you discover.
How-to-love is based on The Way of the greatest master of relationships known to humankind–Jesus of Nazareth.
debra a. harris, PH.D. lmft
***
“Love is to hold someone or something in such high regard that you make the necessary sacrafice
—radical acceptance–
to stay connected to that person or thing.”
–Debra A. Harris (2019)
To love is to radically accept others just as they are: using care, consideration, and compassion. With this kind of positive regard, the intention is to make the necessary sacrifice to maintain the connection–the relationship.
To love effectively is to regard your relationship as more important than any form of division. Divisions are real but can be better managed if we can see clearly that they are ego-propelled illusions.
Hello Everyone,
Click the link below to complete the H2L Believer Self-reflection Scale (BSRS). After you’re done, comment on my YouTube Channel. I truly want to know what you think.
https://howtolove.us/believer-scale
How-to-Love Scenario: Will & Jada Smith
Notice that I did not say that I was upset with Jada for not being appreciative of Will’s selfish (her word) gesture. My only explanation has to be that I am her in this case. I can be very selfish in my “not being impressed with stuff” way. I am learning (at this writing) that this behavior puts a wedge between me and my beloveds. Take my word, I’m working on it and it’s working! Final note: how-to-love is radical acceptance of others–what they do, how they give, and everything in between.
SistuhTalk:
Listen to the audio narratives below to get a sample of where I’m coming from with my How to Love vision.
Conclusion:
Please share your thoughts at drdebra@howtolove.us Place “sistertalk” in the subject line.
