“What do you want?” is a question that I ask people when they complain about their lives. I know, I could be a bit more sensitive in my approach, but I just want to help people get what they want—at least what they say they want. Me, I, generally, focus on what I want. “What I want” rarely occupies my thinking. I guess it’s my positive outlook that keeps in this space. My thinking is that complaining does not change a thing. And complaining to me just irks the hell out of me! Now, as a therapist, I’m trained to listen and validate others’ views. I can do that for about 60 minutes (for a fee, of course); but after that first, maybe second, round of validating “how bad it is,” I am ready to focus on “What you want.” I find this more useful. Think of it, unless all you want is for someone to listen to you complain, you want things to be better. We can establish this in our first meeting. Once we know what you want, my motive is to help you get it. Now, think about what you want. Choose one relationship in which you are not satisfied. It could be with your parent(s), significant other, co-worker(s), career choice, etc. Once you decide which relationship then think about how you want it to change. Finally, allow yourself to imagine this relationship is in your DESIRED state of being; then, watch how things begin to move in the direction of your DESIRE. Focusing on “how bad it is” gets you just that, and with a different focus it works the same. Only this time it’ll be how “good it can be.” It’s just a shift in your thinking, that all. The key: Think about what you want. Okay, it’ll take some time for this to work for some of you, because changing the way you think is no easy feat. Especially since your experiences have taught you that “shit happens.” However, if you really want to get what you want, then keep at it until change comes.