Admittedly, nearly any and everything we do in our country becomes a point of sales–we are attempting to change lives, ours included. We concoct ideas, images, ideals, gadgets, icons, etc. to make our point or our mark. How-to-love is no different. What I’m selling is a “way'” of being that is not altogether new, although it’s has a nuance that is.
For me, love’s language is sign, because when you love someone that person knows it no matter how you show it–whether you use your “love language” or theirs. The look in your eye translates your love into a special feeling of joy. The sign of love is experienced, and it’s unmistakably love.
It’s selfish to demand that someone love us according to a language that he or she may not necessarily speak; it’s quite loving, though, to accept the offering graciously without judgment. I got it: your child gives you a picture with a note for Mother or Father’s Day with misspelled words and coloring way out of the bounds of the disfigured heart. Instead of lovingly adoring the gift, you offer corrections/criticisms. This is what I mean by accepting a gift of love regardless of the language that it’s wrapped. Do you suppose your 3-year-old reads love in the sign-language of your actions?
Love then is radical acceptance. You accept the kindness as an act of love, period, without specifications. And your acceptance is a reciprocal act of love, period. This is knowing how to love in circularity–it comes and it goes in a moment.